Conditioning for Bears

I purchased a pair of hiking boots and began my conditioning. It was possible that I would have to walk a great deal during my travels, and I felt it best to train for that eventuality. I ate a lot of donuts as well, so as not to become sickly and weak. Donuts with pink strawberry frosting are best for workouts, but one can manage quite well with chocolate frosting, or even toasted coconut. A caramel iced latte on the side is also helpful, unless it is chilly, in which case hot coffee is preferable. I threw myself into this intensive regimen with enthusiasm, aware that these preparations could be crucial to the success of my mission.

And more lucre

I had some success conducting sightseeing trips to the Boothbay Harbor region, finding that tourists were delighted to be guided by a native downeaster. I also received generous gratuities for featuring in numerous photo shoots, as I clearly typified the local residents; I was pleased to represent a proud Maine tradition.

Lucre

I spent my spare time working on the docks with the lobstermen in Freeport Harbor. it was demanding labor, but I was determined to amass funds for my odyssey.

The Dreams of Youth

In 1998 my cousin LLBear and I worked in the kayak department of the LLBean store in Freeport, Maine.* There I met people - humans mostly - from everywhere imaginable, places with wonderful and exotic names : St. Louis, Louisville, Bay Saint Louis, Edmonton - surely these must be splendid and sophisticated locales. Like many bears before me I became obsessed with a quest for travel and enlightenment, though I worried about the details: Were there Dunkin Donuts in far-flung cities? Good Yankee pizza? Maple syrup? Provenders of clothing for dashing young bears? Not to mention accounts and broadcasts of the New England sports teams dear to my heart?

But I persisted even in the face of these worries, saving money and studying maps, gathering information and planning - what? - a journey into the great unknown.

* You will notice a similarity between the names of the Bears and the Beans, as well as a long established working relationship. We are said to be distant cousins, although the family history is somewhat vague on this point.

A Modest Introduction

I was, until recently, ensconced comfortably on a networking site, whence I communed with the larger society and realized the extent of the influence of bears in the workings of the world. There are, however, latent prejudices, and I found myself administrated out of existence, solely because of my species, and there I was, a lone bear adrift in cyberspace...I knew the time had come to take a stand, so here I present the intricacies of my life and times, with a hope that others will be inspired to follow in my pawprints.

I am a rather ordinary bear. I grew up in the woods surrounding Penobscot Bay, worked at LLBean in Freeport for a time, followed the Boston Red Sox, enjoyed fried clams and pizza, and pursued other various interests common among New Englanders of any ilk. In time, however, I felt a need to see a bit more of the world, develop new talents, cultivate new alliances, and perhaps expand my wardrobe, so I set out for parts unknown, open to a new adventure.